Fearing Fear Itself

fearing fear

I only recently had a little brush with my mortality.  To make a long story short; I capsized in a Canoe caught in a strong current, didn’t hold my breath in time, and ended up nearly drowning.  How’s that for facing fear!

This was a huge reality check, and could not have come at a better time, to be honest.

You see I had just left a secure job to pursue the very exciting, but much less tangible or rent-check-guaranteeing art of being happy.

Having reached a crossroads at work, I chose to go down the self-employed path, and I honestly believe this is what will bring me the most freedom, satisfaction, and control over my career.

But in a sense, it also requires a release of control; or at least the release of certainty.

I can’t be certain when my invoices will be paid.

I can’t be certain that my finances won’t take a hit if I become unwell.

I can’t be certain where my next clients and contracts are coming from.

These are things I have thought through and made a conscious choice to accept. But it doesn’t mean I’m not afraid.  I’m just choosing not to let the fear stop me from pursuing my dreams.

I believe that fear is often more damaging that the situation for which we feel it.

Fear controls us and keeps us small.  This in turn makes us unhappy.  I am gradually learning  to fear the fear more than the thing I am afraid of.  I believe I am here to push my boundaries, fulfil my potential and ultimately to thrive.  I also believe that I am here to learn lessons the hard way, screw up and get burned sometimes.  It’s a balancing act.

We need the bad times to appreciate the good times.  And we need the fear of failure to make success all the sweeter.

So I’m focussing on not becoming consumed by the things I am afraid of, but just keeping a close eye on my fear itself.  As long as I don’t let it stop me from growing, it’s all good.  Facing fear is about more than just the scary, negative stuff.  Remember why you are doing what you are doing and don’t let the fear stop you!


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