There is no particular reason why today should suck so badly. But it does, it really does.
Even personal-development fans who spew Brendon Burchard quotes (I am so guilty of that) have sh*tty days sometimes, and today I am struggling with life.
It’s that constant chatter in my head. The little voice of my frightened inner child who is so desperate for certainty in an uncertain world. She’s on one today – I shouldn’t let her drink coffee!
It’s because I am run down. My constant state of stress has made itself physical, as stress often does, in the form of the dreaded lurgy. I am full of snot and headache and sadness. Truth be told, I have had many infections, aches, pains and migraines in the last year. And I’m sure it’s all because the negative energy from my mind has to go somewhere. So it lives in my body.
So what am I going to do about it?
Well, what I want to do is sleep for a week. But my inner child (and day job) won’t allow for that. There would be far too much guilt about what I should be doing instead. And this is the daily reality of any grown up, of course.
So how about a plan B then?
I need to exercise some massive self-care. And no I don’t just mean a cup of tea and a hot bath. I mean SERIOUS self-care. I need to let my inner child have a cry for a bit (she did that on the tube today), and then find a way to pacify her.
She…screw that. I NEED… (that’s better) to let go of some everyday anxiety, for the sake of my health. I need to not let my mind tell me that I’m going to get fired and become homeless if I take a sick day, or that sleep is for the weak. Or that I have to work until I bleed from my eyeballs before I’m worthy.
There is some acceptance to be done here too. Firstly I need to accept that I am not Super Woman and cannot be everything to everyone at all times. Secondly, I think I need to accept that I went through a lot of change in 2015. I relocated, went through a lot of drama, and grew a lot too. It was all totally for the best, but there has to be a trade off. And that’s my energy. I’m tired now and I need to recover.
I’m about to relocate again, but once I do I hope I am able to feel a bit more settled. I’ve got some serious me-time to catch up on.
So apart from getting some stuff off my chest, what did I hope to achieve with this post? I wanted to pass this message on – it’s okay to not be Super Man/Woman/Person. Seriously, if you are anything like me then you will need a reminder from time to time. Here is that reminder!
An Elective Orphan x