Why I’m happy to be an Elective Orphan


Life is a series of choices. Yes, chance and circumstance play their part too. But it’s how we choose to react to the things that appear for us that determines what happens next.

I’ve been noticing a lot lately how people’s life scripts play out in their management (or lack of management) of their own life.

If I had given in to my teenage life script, one of an abused kid who nobody loved, I would probably be dead by now. No jokes! But I recognised the power I had, my own ability to choose what happened next… well, as soon as I was sixteen and the law couldn’t stop me leaving my parents’ clutches.

No, it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. When I first ran away I slept in a stable yard, I slept on people’s couches, I took crappy job after crappy job until I got myself free of my misfortune. I even worked for £2 per hour in a shoe shop, funnily enough managed by a nasty bully. You don’t always get what you want right away. It took me a long time to learn how to look after myself, both practically and emotionally. It took me a long time to learn how to stand up to a bully.

Am I sad about it? Hell no. Did I let it write my life script? F**king hell to the no! I kept working and I kept re-writing that script because I realised that it’s all about choice.

Who makes your choices? Your parents? Bullies? Past? Only if you CHOOSE to let them.
Or you can choose to choose for yourself. I’m being serious – think about it.

Okay, tough love rant over.

An Elective Orphan x

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